pencarut terulung

i used to be her.

and now i wish i can be her

seperti mana semut sukakan gula
begitulah aku yang teringinkan kedamaian jiwa

tangis tertahan-tahan setiap hari menahan segala luruh hati
setiap mimpi sememangnya hanya sebagai penghias tirai malam
aku mahu mula mengorak ke hadapan tetapi berat benar....
aku mahu tetap di sini tetapi sakit benar...


p/s banana without the b

i know its silly, but mana lagi pelik;

he just left me hangin.

Jason Mraz just left me hangin and wrote 'Have a Curios Day'

what?????????? sampai ati abe tinggalkan peah sendiri. i hate u abe.

setiap kali bila aku mula ingin berpatah balik
aku ingatkan diri yang mungkin aku akan lebih sempurna disini

bila hari tak seindah bayangan
yakinlah aku di saat itu yang aku akan sentiasa sempurna bila di sana

berbelah bagi dan tak berpuas hati
apakah nafsu punya ku ini mampu terus bertahan mengingati dan merasai?
mengingati indahnya di sana, merasainya bahagianya di sini.
sentiasa keliru dan menerbit gundah
bukan aku ingin diikat dengan harinya semalam
tapi hatiku kadang-kadang terdetik.
mengharapkan sesuatu yang lebih indah
bukan sempurna. tidak sama sekali
tetapi pelengkap. cuma pelengkap

its been a while. and its not a crazy ride. it just a plain life of someone who doesnt go clubbing. doesnt go to terawikh. never ever hang out with frens. the only thing she do is just sitting in a corner playing games on her iphone.

how boring.

if u need someone who doesnt talk much. need someone just to be there just because she can. who doesnt have any opinion about anything. omg! u shud just call me!! like right now!!!

bukan senang nak biarkan semuanya layu tidak diendah

Hihihi. Beginning of the post pn da grind like orang gila.

So aku, Dia n Sangsang were joking and laughing. bahagia (~.~!)
tiba2 Sangsang cakap something nasty about me yang way to emberassing. Omg, he cant say those thing in front of Dia!!!what should i do?!!!

Dengan tindakan refleks, aku pegi belakang Dia n from behind tutp telinga dia. Dia giggle. -hepi hippo- Which describe me best

Sangsang tergelak-gelak tengok reaction aku. Aku alihkan tangan aku dari telinga dia. Jahat betul la Sangsang ni!!

Tetibe Sangsang cakap lagi benda tu. Arghhh!! I need to tip toe so i can reach my crush ears. Aku tutup lubang telinga dia like literally. Tapi bukan la jolok jari aku kat luvang telinga dia. Dia giggle lagi. I can live with the gigle forever.

If he only knew.

Kire nasib baikk die gigle. Cuba bayangkan if dia tolak aku and ask me to behave like an adult, perghhh malunya.. Instead, he gigles. Omaigad, comelnya dengar. And i was like a baby dinosour who fell in love. Sigh

Ramadan 2009

Adli: Morning sleepy head. Milo or tea?

W: i dont want anything. I just want to sleep

Adli: Hey, it almost imsak. Everything is ready on the table. Bangun cepat.

Lazy bums. That is what i am. Setan dah kena ikat but im still pemalas. Mayb it just me yang pemalas. Nothing to do with presence of satans. Sigh~. Adli pull my both hands. Making sure i'm standing with both of my legs. Adli turn around and about to leave the room. Before he takes his first step i laid my head behind his back and both of my hand hanging on top of his shoulder. We walk funny, he never complained and i dont get a chance to thank him for everything. We walk downstairs and enter the kitchen. Im heading to the toilet while Adli pull a chair, sitting down and waited for me and the rest of the family.


P/s sigh lagi. It's Ramadan 2011. And i have nowhere to go when i missed him. :( i keep on talking shit bout him because i dont want anyone now how much i miss him (seems like evryone already know since i post this entry) if postman boleh post rindu aku ni, maybe kena pakai 8 bijik kontena+29759303736185 guni yg still on hold utk d post.

Im happy weh...!!
Aku ada voucher mcdonald buy one free one. I gave to Dia yesterday because i already have few and i dont think i want to eat burger lagi this week. Today Dia gave the voucher back to me and Adry so excited want to go McD bcox of the free burger. 



Adry: eh kita pergi McD hari ni. Jom 
Aku: jom
Dia: i tak boleh pergi lah. I kena balik cepat. I ade hal"
Adry: xpelah, i pegi dgn u jela. Jangan lupa bawak McD voucher

Everyone ready to go back, suddenly:

Dia: im going to McD with u guys ok x? But i dont want to makan. 
Aku: ala mengada la. Makan je la. Takut seluar ketat la tu
Dia: mana ada la. I kenyang lagi. 
Adry: xpelah. U ikut sajalah. 

As we arrived and que-ed at the counter...

Dia: i xnak makan burger. 
Aku: abis nak makan ape?
Dia: u belikan i fries n drink (sambil pas duit). Large one. 

Order bayar and duduk. Im still eating my fries, he with his coke and adry with his two burger. 

Aku: ala nah la amik la burger ni. Makan je la
(aku igt dia nak tolak, rupanya tidakkkk... Choi, igt kenyang betul. Ni da betul satu set meal dia makan)
Borak-borak itu ini then he asked me how am i going to go back. So i said by bus or taxi kot. Then again he asked me the same question. Aiyoo, y la want to asked. Offer je la naik kereta dia. Me and adry change the topic and we borak some more. Later i ajak balik cos i knoe Dia driving. Sure jam macam mampus.
At the traffic light he asked me again how im going back. So i said: 

Tumpang boleh? 

Haaa he said ok. At Starhill gallery three of us just laughing n laughing like oranh gila. Then me n him walk to his car and start talking. He start laughing. I keep on smiling. And fuck, he already have a girlfriend and oh believe me i dont think i have a chance even he got no one. As i mentioned before, what i have now is enough. Maybe. Hihihi

P/s donno how, me and him wear the same color shirt and everyone in the office notice the bloody thing. Bongok betul. 

Episode 3 bila. Me also cannot sabar. But i dont want to put any hope on it. This is the first time i really keluar and lepak with office mate. And its with him pulak tu. Weeeee im in.... Good mood. I feel goofey inside

Sukanya hari ni. Hari ni road block sana sini. Tutup jalan sana sini. Tapi tuhan bukak satu jalan untuk aku rs hepi. Heeee. 

"slalu u balik rumah mcm mana?"
-depends on mood. If hepi balik naik taxi, bus. If moody balik jalan kaki"
"hari ni u balik macam mana?"
-tumpang u 
"ha? Betul ke? Boleh je. U nak brenti kat mana?"
-perkeso tu blh?
"tapi u kena melintas jalan tau"
-memang la. Xkan nak merangkak
"hahahaha. Sana banyak kereta tau"
-lari je la. Bukan xpenah melintas jalan pun
•u boleh kasi jawapan serius sikit x?(ade org lain marah plak, sbb dgr conversation senget kitorang)
"hahaha u ni kan, main2 la"
-hehehe
"betulke nak tumpang ni?"
-betul...

Dan hari aku semakin melebarkan sayap senyum cam gampang

Punyakah episod ke 2? Aku xkisah if i dont get love back. Macam ni lagi bagus dari sentap sana sini sebab boifren xpandai jaga hati. I know i dont hv the chance to be with him. Forever tu dont mention la kan. Memang simpang punya. So just spending time hang out and chit chat, laughing and blablabla is enough. For now. Maybe. I dont know.. Aiyooo.

Jika satu hati bersamaan satu jiwa
Mampu untuk aku miliki satu? Soal tanya dalam diri.
Aku masih belum mampu berlari 
Apatah lagi mencari hati untuk aku simpan hingga hujung nyawa
Apa yang aku temui mudah benar hilang
Mantera doa aku pohon dari tuhan kekalkan satu hati ini dekat dengan aku
Aku punya dia semenjak aku kenal dunia
Jauhkan malapetaka dari dia ya tuhan.
Kuatkan imannya
Tabahkan jiwanya
Tenangkan hidupnya
Senangkan perjalanan hidupnya
Simpan dia dalam syurgaMu akhir nanti
Walau belum sampai masa, aku tahu selamat tinggal itu akan menjelma.
dengan redhaNya, dan dalam keterpaksaan realiti hidup, aku terima.

compare to me friends in fb which of course reflect their lifestyle i have the most boring life. i dont upload much updates or statuses in fb since i didnt do much on the weekends since i have to work like 6 days a week with a weird schedules. i dont go anywhere other than pavillion and klcc because both of these places are walking distant with me office and me home. extremely boring!i know. my hang out buddy is my sister and my bestie shah together with my ex. ah.... how perfect can it be.

so how was your weekend? did you had a good time or awesome weekend gateway?

dan pada suatu hari, segala yang tersimpan menjadi rahsia akan terbongkar semuanya
semua dusta yang semakin hari menjadi-jadi itu akan di muntahkan kebenarannya.
waktu itu terduduklah aku tergamam memutar memori dan menyesali butanya hati.
di saat dunia menjadi benar-benar realiti tanpa apa-apa yang tersurat
baru aku tahu betapa aku sememangnya bukan siapa-siapa.