i always try to write something. but somehow it happened to be a disaster entry

can i go home now

Posted: September 7, 2010 by si blogger kerek in
0

Can i go home now?
Can i go home now?

I did not promised you that I’ll be strong
And I didn’t promise myself not to cry when I miss them.

Everything is too late now
I stuck here.
I am not exaggerating my state.
It is zero tolerance to my fate

Am I the only one pretending, this Raya is still the same?
Since her death, I found no cause to rejoice this celebration
So I let myself occupied with ridiculous amount of travelling with small amount of money
And still, next to her grave I found myself sobbing
That was the first year.
And the next year, I just don’t bear to go near to her grave anymore.
Someday, they will get fed up with me - this sick person who will cry for hours, hugging own knees.  

I just want to know why the hell I'm still alive?!
Everyone is happy now.
Should I stay longer? No

It’s been more than 1070 days and I still can’t get used to the idea she is not with me now, moreover future.  
Whoever created ‘let bygone be bygone’ – $%^*&!!£

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