i always try to write something. but somehow it happened to be a disaster entry

i think (it is very chessy, dont read)

Posted: September 30, 2010 by si blogger kerek in
0

i think,
i like you
again.

because i accidently read our old email.
and our old pictures.
im not missing u badly,
i just wish u were here.

untuk orang yang

Posted: September 20, 2010 by si blogger kerek in
2

untuk orang/ orang-orang yang saya sayang,
saya akan tetap sayang
biar saya belum tentu wujud di masa depan.

can i go home now

Posted: September 7, 2010 by si blogger kerek in
0

Can i go home now?
Can i go home now?

I did not promised you that I’ll be strong
And I didn’t promise myself not to cry when I miss them.

Everything is too late now
I stuck here.
I am not exaggerating my state.
It is zero tolerance to my fate

Am I the only one pretending, this Raya is still the same?
Since her death, I found no cause to rejoice this celebration
So I let myself occupied with ridiculous amount of travelling with small amount of money
And still, next to her grave I found myself sobbing
That was the first year.
And the next year, I just don’t bear to go near to her grave anymore.
Someday, they will get fed up with me - this sick person who will cry for hours, hugging own knees.  

I just want to know why the hell I'm still alive?!
Everyone is happy now.
Should I stay longer? No

It’s been more than 1070 days and I still can’t get used to the idea she is not with me now, moreover future.  
Whoever created ‘let bygone be bygone’ – $%^*&!!£

fuck itu mencarut ke?

Posted: September 5, 2010 by si blogger kerek in
3

yang jelas maksudnya
belum tentu tertangkap hikmah sebaris kata
yang betul di depan mata
belum tentu terus cantik maknanya

kusam warna bahagia dia
ternyata terserlah kesederhanaan hatinya

yang berkompang bercerita episod bahagia
buatlah kesinambungan cerita

terskanlah senyum biarpun ia hanya topeng
teruskanlah bernafas walaupun tersedut kesedihan kebenaran
janganlah berdiri untuk serlahkan kekuatan diri
duduklah sebentar untuk bermuhasabah diri.


cerita dulu2: dlu mase kecik2 dajah satu selalu pegi ofis mama. suke tengok cubicle ofis mate mama.skali nmpak satu singe.mulut die ade satu scroll. pastu aku bukak n die tulis 'fuck u'. pastu aku cakap kat mama:-

mama, orang ni mencarut..
die tulis ape?
die cakap 'fuck you'
hahahaha (gelak berjemaah dengan ofis mate die yang lain)
$%^£$